David Goldin
July 2010
CAR 4 SALE - Great Summer Deal
Jello Mobile

Jello Mobile 4 Sale
Used and abused but with lots of good intentions and well wishes.
The car comes from a Police Auction of impounded cars from criminals. The vehicle has been retro-fitted with twin Nitro injectors, stealth radar and a baby seat.
Best Offer, Serious Inquiries Only*
* the " Jello Driver" is due to be parolled within the next year.

Tough times call for tough measures. Time to sell the Jalopy. A lot of good memories driving around in this rusty bucket. Each dent, scratch and scrape has a great story and that makes it even more difficult to part with. There's the Flaherty stain ( also known as the birth mark since it happened the first day I drove it.), the Dunlavey dent ( you can actually see the shape of his head on the rear passenger door), the eternal Waxman residue as we'll call it, I'm not allowed to say what happened to Kroninger's fuzzy dice ( shudder)... law suit still pending... I picked up Nancy Stahl hitch-hiking in her Daisy Dukes in this road hazard, tried to run over Hitz more than a dozen times but always switched gears to neutral to honor my Swiss friend, and drove donuts all over Staake's yard after his Donut Chef book came out and NEVER got a ticket. Yes... a lot of history in this car...
AND it can all be yours for the right price*.  High mileage, never changed the oil, gas guzzler, and just needs a little TLC.
Serious inquiries only.
* Fire hydrant and Tow-Away sign sold separately.
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