posted: April 26, 2011

    One evening I decided to go for a walk in the moonlight. There wasn't a moon so I reached into my coat pocket hoping to find a flashlight. Instead my hand found something familiar... A crayon.
Not just any crayon, but a crayon who claims to be "The" Purple crayon from a well know children's book.
The following is from our conversation.
                                                          -D.G.

David Goldin: You're really the crayon from the picture book? That was my favorite story.

Purple Crayon:  "Yes, I worked with a kid named Harold a long, long time ago...  ... 1955-63 ... that's around Fifty years ago. Harold needed a purple crayon and I fit the suit. Plus we got along famously. He had a bunch of crayons to choose from and he picked me. I'd like to think he picked me based on my artistic merits but probably it was just my good looks, distinguished chin and charming personality. Basically I was a vehicle for Harold's imagination. I wish I could have added a little more of my own perspective to the picture but... too many chefs... y'know."

Purple Crayon: "After teaming up with Harold I became a bit of a celebrity, in the crayon community at least.
While most people were off at school or work... living daily lives...  I'd be with my friends partying 24/7 without a care in the world.
I was living the life...."

Purple Crayon: "... One day I woke up feeling Blue. Nothing significant was coming out of my efforts, just mindless scribbles and wasted wax.
I needed to find more meaning in life. It's been decades since working in publishing and now there are so many other shades of Purple to compete with - life just keeps getting more complicated. Amethyst, Eggplant, Indigo, Lavender, Lilac, Magenta, Mauve, Mulberry, Orchid, Plum, Pomegranate, Puce, Thistle, Violet...  I could go on...    I've got nothing wrong with colors mind you - some of my best friends are colors.

Purple Crayon: I decided to improve myself outside and in. A strict diet of nothingness, which is easy for crayons.
Deep soul searching...  my inner-self ...stable.., calming aspects of blue combined with mystical and spiritual qualities of Purple, Warm Violet satisfying my need for reassurance in this complex world, while adding a hint of mystery and excitement... That is SO me.
 
Purple Crayon: " I started a Yoga routine... ...it wasn't easy.
 PLEASE DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME! Crayons break easily.

Now when I get on a yoga matt I can twist myself into a pretzel."

David Goldin: What would you say your favorite thing to do is, besides draw?

Purple Crayon:  "If I had to pick one thing...   ... after all my years, travels, experiences,...
ups and downs,...   I'd have to say,..."

...Hmmmmm....

Purple Crayon:   "... going for walks on moonlit nights with friends."

David Goldin:  Me too.

posted: October 16, 2010

 35,000 ft in the air, I run out of the cockpit, uphill through first class,  
the plane is beginning to dive. I'm 10 years old on my way from New York to stay with my Uncle,
a Nuclear Physicist working in Los Alamos, New Mexico.

"Stay out of trouble!" I'm told for the hundredth time as I check in. I'm flying alone.
The previous school year I spent every day in detention. 

" Welcome aboard young man."  It looks like it's going to be a good flight.
Ten is an awesome age to be. You are who you're going to be in life... ...before hormones start raging.

The flight starts out good, people are nice to me, John Denver is playing on the inflight radio, blue skies... and I manage to behave... for a short while...

"Is that issue #32 where Jughead and Reggie get caught wearing prom dresses?"
The stewardesses like me and keep bringing me things like pilot wings, playing cards, drinks, they sit with me and chat.  ... then I break out the Malted Milk Balls.

One by one they join me and we gorge ourselves on Malted Milk Balls together. " Get these out of here - we have no will power."
Stewardesses at this date in time have strict weight policies and retiring age is 32 yrs. old.  They're young, starving and hot.
 

The stewardess sitting next to me decides I have to meet the pilot and see the cockpit. We walk up the aisle and knock on the door at the front of the plane.

Next thing we're having a little party; the pilot, co-pilot and a few stewardesses and me, stuffing our faces with Malted Milk Balls and joking around. Nobody is paying attention to anything but the deliciousness of the exquisite Malted confections.

We fly straight into a thunderhead...  lightning strikes the plane.
Lights flash, warning sounds are beeping and the plane begins to drop.

"Get him out of here!" the pilot screams as he tries to regain control of the plane.
 I run out of the cockpit, up the aisle and buckle myself into my seat in coach.

The plane feels like it is falling out of the sky. Sh*t in your pants scary.
Drinks spill, things get tossed, over-head compartments open, things fall out.
I manage to not drop a single Malted Milk Ball.
 

The plane recovers, an announcement apologizes for the turbulence, and we glide into a beautiful blue sky landing in Albuquerque.

Exiting the plane the pilot and co-pilot are smiling and nodding like a couple of bobble-heads. I give them the last two Malted Milk Balls. My uncle is there waiting for me. We have to stop by his Nuclear Laboratory on the way home.
That's a place I could get into REAL trouble.
 

posted: October 9, 2010

Happy Bithday Flaherty!

posted: July 9, 2010

Jello Mobile 4 Sale
Used and abused but with lots of good intentions and well wishes.
The car comes from a Police Auction of impounded cars from criminals. The vehicle has been retro-fitted with twin Nitro injectors, stealth radar and a baby seat.
Best Offer, Serious Inquiries Only*
* the " Jello Driver" is due to be parolled within the next year.