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A Mandatory Meeting For All Drawgers

AUGUST 10, 2006
All Hail Horseknuckle!
Good afternoon, I hope you're all well. Good to see you - most of you. Aaronsen, if that moustache isn't off your face by the time I count to ten, you can kiss your cushy job in receivable goodbye, capiche? It would behoove the rest of you to get reacquainted with the House O' Wax policy regarding facial hair and/or facial modification. Remember, the nail that sticks out gets hammered down!

Now, where was I? Oh yes, yes.. the quarterly numbers are in. Our Weapons and Technology Labs are through the roof again this quarter; congratulations to you all. An extra 20 minutes a week in the tickle chair will be alloted to you as a show of our appreciation fo your hard work. Same goes to the industrious workers in our technical headgear group, nice work all of you.

Our Art and Illustration departmant, however, has shown disappointing numbers. Why? You tell me! I see you all in your cubicles, scribbling your dear little hearts out and listening to your 'alternative rock'. I KNOW you're capable, I've seen the fruits of your labors and I more often than not find myself amused by them. Many of you have suggested to me via the suggestions and communications box that's located on the third floor behind that cigarette machines that the market for hand-drawn images is 'soft'. To that I say HORSEFEATHERS! I was browsing a recent issue of B--------W---- this very morning during my bi-weekly pedicure and I saw not one, not two, but FIVE illustrations. FIVE!! And none of them were up to your caliber, so why THEM and not YOU? Hmmmm?

The House O' Wax Research Team has concluded that the answer lies in advertising and marketing. My challenge to you is to find out what our competitors have found most effective in their quest for new accounts. C'mon, people, we're Empire Buliders and you're showing like a bunch of handymen!

I direct you to the talented group of artists that preside over at Drawger. Get them to spill their advertsisng secrets and you will find yourselves handsomely rewarded.

Until then, the commisary will be serving domestic caviar only and the champagne fountains will be shut off until further notice.
Now get to work!
© 2024 Steve Wacksman