posted: June 30, 2010

It's bikini season and I'll be honest with you - you've looked better. Especially around the...um...glutes. I'm only saying this as a friend.
Don't despair, my little flower. There's a fix for what ails you and, although it'll take a little sweat and maybe a few tears ( the appearance of blood, however, is a sure indicator that you're doing something wrong) it's 100% guaranteed to get your unspectacular biscuits rounded out.
Lemme introduce you to the man for the job: Mr David Kirsch.

Mr Kirsch and I have produced an incomparably thorough work devoted to the subject. Cannily titled "The Butt Book", this tome is designed to aid you in crafting your perfect posterior through both diet and exercise. Undoubtedly you've heard these claims before, but never have they come from the peerless and  trusted team of Kirsch/Wacksman.

No matter if you're hippy, flat-assed, boy-hipped, or pear-shaped you can rest easy. Surrender yourself to our program and your posterior will, in time, be the talk of the town. Assuming that's an appealing outcome I encourage you to order a copy of The Butt Book and get to work! Life's too short to look unattractive, even for a minute!

The book is filled to near-overflowing with colorful illustrations, pithy commentary and valuable information for those wishing to sculpt the hindquarters of their dreams. Exercises such as Plie Squats (above) coupled with a rigorous cardiovascular program (below) are described in detail. This book will allow you to create a can't-miss program - a road map to badonkadonk nirvana.

I'll be straight with you- it won't be easy. Mr Kirsch is the real deal and makes no claims of overnight success nor will it happen while you sleep. You're gonna sweat. You're gonna curse. You're gonna forego fried ice cream and triple mocha lattes.  But it's a small price to pay in the pursuit of a delightfully crafted posterior; the very sort that inspire men to song.

COMING SOON (I think):
Carefully catalogued scientific research tells us that owners of butts are likely to also be in posession of abs and arms. Should you fall into this category, be sure to keep your eyes (and wallets) open for the forthcoming Kirsch/Wacksman collaboration "David Kirsch's 'Abs and Arms'".
Holy spicy guacamole are you gonna look (and feel) great! No need to thank me, o former flabby one- seeing you out there all taut and ripply is all the thanks I need!

posted: June 18, 2010

What I know about opera could fit on the head of a pin and still leave ample space for what I know about blush wines and Inuit folklore. So when I picked up the phone ( side note: almost nobody calls with job requests anymore. These days email holds sway) to discuss the possibility of creating a poster image for the Fort Worth Opera I felt compelled to admit as much. I was assured by the designer , the charming and affable Lily Smith+Kirkley of Matchbox Studio, that this would not be a hinderance. We discussed the project in brief and she sent me a plot synopsis. I would be illustrating an opera by Verdi called "Il Trovatore" that included among other atrocities: poisoning, burning at the stake, infanticide and a beheading. Who'd say no to a gig like that? Not me, brother!
 

One of the most well-known pieces of music from Il Trovataore is entitled "the Anvil Song". Armed with that knowledge I set out to make the anvil a central theme in my design. Several characters in the story meet their end as a result of being set ablaze; this was a fairly obvious visual opportunity as well.I decided to get as many ideas as I could down on paper as fast as I could. No research, no refining, no erasing. Go!
 

I usually prefer having a being in my compositions, be it a human or animal but in this case I liked the anvil doubling as the executioner's block. Still, I thought any of them could be refined to be effective. I shot these scrawlings over to Lily to give her an idea of where my thought process was leading me. In no time at all she replied that they liked the one with the knight in the foreground.

I'll be honest here- I never do color sketches. Never ever ever. I like poking around and refining my color up until the last minute, and too often clients become sold on a color scheme in a sketch and that part of the process is taken out of my hands. In this case, however, I wanted to show a refinement of the thumbnail and I found that the color gave it more character. I was thinking about a very graphic approach using rich blacks and an exceedingly basic palette. This approach was dismissed (perhaps wisely) as unsophisticated and a second approach was presented. This was given the high sign and I charged out of the gate. The job from start to finish was completed in 2 days. Lily sent me a note saying that this poster was her final act at Matchbox- she was moving on. Best of luck to you, Lily- it was a pleasure.
 

posted: April 26, 2010

Most of you I'm certain have heard that cats have nine lives. But were you equally aware that the wild boar has two?
Have I piqued your curiosity, reader? Yes? Well then allow me to explain.

The wild boar with an industrial howdah buckled to his back (image below) was an uncommissioned piece I did a while back, part of a series which can be seen here. I posted the series on Drawger along with some florid and cheesy text and it received a host of thoughtful and encouraging responses. Apart from that it remains a homeless series of works. I've considered reviving the series, developing a book or maybe prints. I may well do so, but as so often happens the muse moves on and so too do I. I fear it might be difficult to recapture the mood of these; oftentimes attempts to do so result in work that appears uninspired.

Moving on- shortly after this boar made his appearance here on Drawger the delightful Mrs SooJin Buzelli of Plansponsor magazine contacted me. She had an article on 'outsourcing' that she needed illustrated and she felt the wild boar and it's bustling burden made a good fit. Alas, whereas it fit conceptually it was in no way as ideal spatially. The space requiring an illustration was far more vertical.
 

I was happy to oblige, although I wanted to take the opportunity to make some alterations to the image. Not necessarily because the size requirements dictated that I do so, but because I thought the notion of outsourcing would be better illustrated by a more temporary looking means of affixing the structure to the creature. I imagined the industry was being moved, and would be unlashed when it arrived at it's destination. I also wanted the structure to have a more industrial feel, as the original skewed a bit more vague in it's origin.
Lastly, I thought it would add to the story if the climate in the image were some way unfavorable, making outsourcing an attractive option. Adding a gray and gloomy firmament and a ground flooded with black water did the trick.
 

posted: March 15, 2010

Portraiture and likenesses are relatively new to me. I've been slinging ink for a while now (first gig was in 1990 or thereabouts. I flubbed it. Ancient history) so I've had to provide a likeness here or there, natch. But it's been an infrequent request on the part of my (lovely,talented and remarkably good-looking) clientele. A while back I decided - full disclosure, I'd lost my third monthly gig and was a bit panicked - to concentrate on likenesses. I did a bunch, put 'em out there and let the people say what they would. Mostly what they said was nice, but the enthusiasm wasn't exactly blowing my wig back.

Don't know how or why, but at some point it kinda clicked. I started seeing the bigger picture; the broader shapes. I could compare my drawings to the subject and see where I'd made mistakes. Obviously some people are easier to draw than others (hello, Marty Scorsese and his Marty Scorsese eyebrows) and beautiful women are amongst the hardest to draw as they all essentially look exactly alike, all smiles and eyes and flowing hair. But I think I'm getting better at it and if you don't agree, please keep it to yourself. Remember, it's nice to be important but it's important to be nice.
 

These drawings ran yesterday in the venerable news daily the Boston Globe. The AD was Jane Martin. Drawing pictures for a living a pretty good racket, but some jobs are just fun. This was one of them; I actually caught myself chuckling a bit while working on these.

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